How often have you been mid-bitch-session on something that’s making you crazy only to have a friend say to you,“You really need to let it go.”

In my case, this usually makes me more inclined to hold onto it. (While thinking to myself, “You really need to step away from me with that new age rama-dama-ding-dong baloney.”)

Yes. From time to time I have trouble letting go.

That said, I’ve been working on it and the most effective tool I’ve found for actually letting something go—whether it’s a disagreement with a friend, a misunderstanding with a client, a confrontation with a family member– is to change the way I think about the phrase ‘letting go.’

Now if you think that sounds a lot like the rama-dama-ding-dong new age baloney mocked above, I can’t disagree; but hear me out.

I’ve decided the trouble is that we seem to associate letting go of something with loss. In our minds (or maybe just in my mind…) it feels a lot like the Kate Winslet character in Titanic watching the Leonardo DiCaprio character slide into the water. (Didn’t love that movie, b/t/w—by the time the boat sank I was more than ready for it to happen.

And then it occurred to me—what if I flip it? What if, instead of thinking of letting go as losing something, I begin to think of letting go of something as me being released from it; me becoming unstuck; me experiencing forward movement?

So, this is my new mental habit. I am replacing “Let it go” with “Allow forward movement.”

I’m allowing change, allowing possibility, allowing for the serenity and happiness and mindless (and mindful) joy that is my birthright—and yours—when we allow it.

Let me know if you’re ready to join the movement–let me know if you’re ready to let it go.

Frances Cole Jones